Judging People's Parenting Skills

As a long time fan of Alphamom's advice column I read it all the time. This one is especially great. If you haven't had a chance to read it yet, here's a link alphamom-on other peoples parenting.
The lady writing in for advice doesn't actually have any kids yet, but as someone that's read about it, she has some definite opinions about how her partner's niece should be disciplined. I've got to pause for a moment of nostalgia for that feeling of certainty on the rules of parenting that I once had before I'd actually had any kids. I saw your kid misbehaving? Well not only did I know how you should fix them, I also was certain that whatever you did was wrong. What a self righteous jerk I was! Call it irony or call it karma, but I constantly run into people that have this same judgey attitude. Some of them are family, some fellow parents, some are total strangers giving us the stink eye as we shop at the grocery store. I'm not saying that I'm a perfect parent, in fact I've made more mistakes than I can count, but the important thing is that I've learned from them. As a parent, I've felt more judged by others than at any other time in my life.

Everyone has their own parenting style and it's very easy to stand on the outside looking in and say that they're doing it wrong. In Alphamom's column, it sounds to me like the 4 year old's parents need to teach her some limits, but who knows? Maybe they think that she's only doing it for attention and that ignoring it will make her stop. Maybe the only time she acts like that is during these family gatherings and they're even more frustrated about it than the letter writer. Is that what I would do if it was my kid? No way. I can also understand why she's concerned that they opt to feed her sweets instead of dinner, but if the parents aren't actually mistreating their child, then keep the judgement to yourself. If they ask your opinion, feel free to share it with them. I love love love Alphamom's suggestion that they offer to babysit for a few hours, because it might help them to open up a dialogue with the parents about her misbehavior, and also "You’ll also get to see firsthand that the road to parenting hell is paid with know-it-all-y good intentions, yes. Three hours alone with this child could completely shatter every illusion you had about knowing anything about child-raising, sure." Her advice to praise the little girl when she's doing something right is also great. I suspect I like it so much because that's what works for me.

I think parenting is such an emotional topic that criticizing someone's parenting style is probably a terrible idea. Unless you want them to really dislike you, then tread very lightly when you're talking about it, or just keep your opinions to yourself.